Kings over Queens Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Imagine my embarrassment. So last night I'm out supervising my kid as he sells raffle tickets to raise funds for his Cooperstown trip and we are hitting up the neighborhood. The routine is that he knocks on the door while I wait about halfway between the street and the door, or at the bottom of the steps to the porch, the concept being that it's about the kid and I'm just in the background. He knocks on one neighbor, quiet people who pretty much seem to keep to themselves. They are new to the hood. The wife is a foreigner, Dutch if I recall, and very gregarious but still they keep to themselves. The husband I'm not so sure about. I think he's gay, and if not, very much a *****. Has a habit of pursing his lips and rolling his eyes and likes to wear a bandanna around his neck. The last time I saw him was last summer or the summer before that when I brought him some of those long wooden matches you use to light a fire or a BBQ. I had just seen him half explode his gas grill (actually heard him shriek) over the fence and figured it would be a good opportunity to bust his chops a little. Turns out he doesn't appreciate having his chops busted, got highly offended, wouldn't accept the matches, pursed his lips and glared at me. Anyway, son knocks on door as I wait at the bottom of the steps, bandanna man answers the door, I wave, and son goes into his sales pitch. Guy listens, mumbles something about not having a $10 (that's what the tickets cost) but wanting 2 (mumbled) gives the kid money (its dark out) and says he doesn't want the tickets. I'm thinking, wow, $20 dollar donation, start up the steps to say thanks while insisting that he takes the tickets he paid for. Me: Wow, thanks, but take the tickets. Him: no, i don't want them. Me: Really? (coming up steps) Him: Yeah, I'm good (him closing door) Me: But you paid for them, take them! Him: No, really, I'm good (hurriedly closing door) Him: <Door shuts, lock bolted, lights go off.> Me: <looks at son, shrugs shoulders, and we leave> It wasn't until we got home and I told my wife what happened when my son said "Dad, it was 2 bucks, not 20." #otterlivesmatter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 He should be embarassed, not you. I bet he's really french, but says he's dutch to hide his shame. Banned in Florida Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seadogface Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 I bet he is a really ugly chick & wears the bandana to hide the lack of an adams apple sweetheart Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishnmagician Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 does gregarious mean she has big cans? Eggy 10-13 LAA 7-14 50-50 2-15 "I asked my daughter to send Barron Trump a link to this thread. Wouldn’t it be funny if Trump sued FnM for slander". Wayne Tj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sparky Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 does gregarious mean she has big cans? freedom bags Banned in Florida Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homerisadope Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 freedom bags I didn't like where he was going with the bandana ****. Ordinary ****ing people - I hate 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homerisadope Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 He should be embarassed, not you. I bet he's really french, but says he's dutch to hide his shame. Indubitably. He calls his wooden shoes "Sabots." Guaranteed. Ordinary ****ing people - I hate 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Billybob Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Cool story Mike. Woulda been better if he took the tickets, though. You're in a pickle being the coach and all, I'd just buy my kids tickets and be done with it, but that's not very coachlike. Hey, did you guys see Frank made a funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
makomakoman Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 I hate that type of fundraising. Good for you for doing that. I hope you guys get enough coin for the trip. RIP Innis - April 9th 2012 - you always be in my heart. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Dutch women have a thing for multiple chins. Ask me how I know. A whiter shade of pale.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kings over Queens Posted March 23, 2011 Author Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 He should be embarrassed, not you. I bet he's really french, but says he's dutch to hide his shame. Nah, any donation is appreciated. As far as I'm concerned the 2 bucks buys us a baseball. The wife is Dutch. If I recall he's from Tennessee. When we came over to introduce ourselves when they moved in he made a VERY big point to let me know that he was a certified BBQ judge or something or something like that, which is why I took such delight when he half exploded he gas BBQ grill. #otterlivesmatter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homerisadope Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Nah, any donation is appreciated. As far as I'm concerned the 2 bucks buys us a baseball. The wife is Dutch. If I recall he's from Tennessee. When we came over to introduce ourselves when they moved in he made a VERY big point to let me know that he was a certified BBQ judge or something or something like that, which is why I took such delight when he half exploded he gas BBQ grill. Ask him why he had to leave Tennessee. Ordinary ****ing people - I hate 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John O' Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 I hate that type of fundraising. Good for you for doing that. I hope you guys get enough coin for the trip. Me too, I just write a check. If you go door to door it cost you more in the long run when the all neighbors' kids start knocking on your door. Good luck with the trip Mike. By the way, Eebs said it's an ascot, NOT a bandana. "ALL THE BEST!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishnmagician Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 "Yeah Lady, the prize is a motor boat, I think yer gonna win". Eggy 10-13 LAA 7-14 50-50 2-15 "I asked my daughter to send Barron Trump a link to this thread. Wouldn’t it be funny if Trump sued FnM for slander". Wayne Tj Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimS Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 I bet he is a really ugly chick & wears the bandana to hide the lack of an adams apple Yup...lesbian couple. The one you mistook for a male is really a gender challenged individual trying to be butch. TimS Show someone how to catch striped bass and they'll be ready to fish anywhere. Show someone where to go striped bass fishing and you'll have a desperate report chaser with loose lips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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