Stupid Human Tricks...

[WVskeetshooter]

So I was fishing with my family for largemouth bass at a friends private pond when lo and behold I caught one. It was a nice three pounder and I lifted him out of the pond with my rod since he was not too big. I then reached out and grabbed my line to run my fingers down the line to grab the Rapala lure to keep him from shaking and sticking me.

 

This is the point when the bass shook the hook out of his mouth and my rod which was under tension like a 100lb bow straightend out. I found myself with the line running between my fingers and being unable to let go in time. The treble hook impaled my thumb and my index finger together right through the ends. Now apparently at this point I made a horrific sound since my wife came running and my kids looked terribly shocked at whatever I said or moaned. I was unable to pull the hooks out through the entry holes and of course it was my right hand so I was trying to do everything with my left which added to the difficulty. It looked for all the world like I was delicately holding my lure with two fingers. I decided that fishing was more important than a trip to the ER so I ripped my fingers apart. Apparently at this point I emitted another horrible sound since my kids again looked at me with shock. I only managed to rip the hook out of my thumb and the other hook was still embedded in my index finger. Blood is now dripping everywhere and I still want to fish. Finally my wife hands me my pliers which I forgot I had in my belt and I pulled the hook out of my index finger. Now I have lost about a pint of blood according to my daughters, I think it was more like a thimble full really. We managed to get them cleaned and bandaged up and I finished fishing but my girls were too afraid I was going to do it again and just watched, I think for fun really. I caught another about 4lb bass and hollered for them to see but they just looked at me in disdane and said not to holler unless I was hurt.

 

I went to the ER later since I could not remember when I last got a tetnus shot and got stuck. Turns out it was only two years ago and my stupid shoulder swelled into a knot the size of the rock of Gibralter and hurt like heck.

 

Well, there is one of my stupid human tricks. Please feel free to post yours now. Maybe if they are good I will post another stupid human trick for your viewing pleasure.

 

Skeet

[Seal]

 

 

[MikeH]

Out on a family drive.I told everyone that I had to try this fishin spot that I just drove beside.It was a misty day and everyone stayed in the car.I promised that I would only be a few casts,just to try .

 

So now Iam all excited,rushin,setting up my rod/set-up as I am heading to the nicest fishy lookin spot that I just found.I was trying to connect my rod ,unhook my popper and untangle everything all at once while heading out.

 

As my impatient family looks on,they see this big goof rushin down to the water line. Heading to the only boulder on the beach,and tripping over it,landing half in the water with skinned shins.

 

My family enjoyed this stop more than I did........

[canyondiver]

Comment to all so far... Ouch!!

I used to hang a lot of plugs from my ceiling ofer the bed (along with a lot of rods) and I reached for a rod, caught a hook and of course the common reaction is to pull back and away. Well that put a VMC 4/0 into my finger, right to the bend. Figured I'd push it through, but that hurt too much so I took 2 trlenol #3 and waited an hour. Tried again, nope. Called a friend on the EMS crew to see if I could get a shot of lidocaine to numb me out. Wasn't home! I'm getting frustrated now And just then the phone rings... It's a friend calling me for a dinner date with his wife and him. I agree to come over and ask if he can pick me up. Oh and would you mind helping me take a hook out of my finger? Silence... What???? A hook! I'll show you when you get here! We did the "loop pull method" (you need two hands or I already would have done it) where I held the hook down hard and had him yank the loop. He pulled too lightly the first time (told him to go for broke), but the second time he realized it takes a hard yank. POP, out she came and all I had was a little ache for a few days.

My plugs now hang on the wall or the edges of my book cases!

[DaveC]

Capper?

[Seal]

[WVskeetshooter]

Yep looks like a case of unlimited amps through a meter to me.

[Mike]

Go out to the garden with some friends. Pick a fresh jalapeno and take a bite. Drop to your knees gasping for breath while your buds yuk it up. Tell them it wasn't that bad and they should try it too. Have them all bite at the same time -- it's funniest when they all drop to their knees gasping for air in unison. Laugh your azzes off til your eyes tear. Rub your eyes and start screaming again while your buds yuk it up some more. Recover just long enough to realize you have to piss. 15 seconds into your piss your pecker starts burning. You'll have another 15 to 30 seconds before involuntary screams emanate from your body. Once that happens I'd start scrambling through the fridge looking for something that may solubilize the capsaicin, settle on the Mayo and slather your pecker with copious amounts while your buds roll on the floor in side splitting laughter.

 

Then, for fun, turn around to see your wife standing there just home from work. Try to explain why you're standing in the kitchen with your pants around your ankles, your pecker in a jar of Mayo and there are three grown men in fetal positions on the kitchen floor, laughing incoherently.

[jbt114]

Hey Mike... You owe me a keyboard... LOL

 

Chris

[joec0436]

that might be one of the funniest things i've heard in a while