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Farts

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bassmaster

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17 hours ago, chumfish said:

Like fresh out of the oven, but not as intense. 
That lady’s “This Smells Like My Hooha” candle got nothing on my air freshening qualities.
In the minds eye, it should be like cartoon birds and butterflies following me in spirals. 

I think that was mushrooms and not blueberries you were eating... :laugh:

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Can still remember when I was a kid and farted in the kitchen while mom was cleaning dishes. She turned and looked at me and said, "Smells like something crawled inside you and died."

 

Got a great story about two kids on their bikes who rode through one of my all time greats on a humid evening. Still laugh when I think about it. 

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20 mins ago, DoorGunner said:

Can still remember when I was a kid and farted in the kitchen while mom was cleaning dishes. She turned and looked at me and said, "Smells like something crawled inside you and died."

 

Got a great story about two kids on their bikes who rode through one of my all time greats on a humid evening. Still laugh when I think about it. 

Sounds like you may have been a crop duster before a door gunner.....

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On 7/3/2022 at 4:01 PM, MartyK said:

I was once told the honeymoon is over when you fart in bed.   The marriage is over when you fart and force her head under the covers.

 

The sign of a strong commited woman is the one who stays with you even after you do that to her.   37 years and going strong and it never gets old and farts are still funny.

I'll BE PULLING ON MY ROD - TILL THEY LAY ME IN SOD!!!!!
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I once beefed at the foodstore. As soon as I was at full release an elderly woman comes walking around the corner. I vacate location of beef and walk away down the aisle. Right as I was about to round the corner I turned and looked. She had just entered the beef zone. Her face contorted into one of shock and total disgust. I smiled at my handiwork and walked off unashamed.

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