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You have layers of stupidity, too? LOL

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EricDice

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Figured this is too much and mostly not fishing report to be in the reports thread. But also too stoopid not to cherish. And something only fellow tug drug anglers would appreciate. 
 

Took a chunk of Thursday off to fish. Was asked to be home early so I figured I would do accomplish that and maybe catch a fish. Didn’t run it up the chain for spousal approval because I’ve gotten tired of the “I’m shocked you would even ask that right now response.” Mind you it’s May and I’ve collected less than 5 hours total of real fishing in ‘22 - but this is the normal response for years. 
 

So, clandestine operations ensue. Hit a spot way in the back. Striper (presumably a striper) took a swipe at my modified Danny (blade on the rear hanger - so sexy) but no other love for plugs or even bloodworms - trying to shake the skunk. 
 

Decided to move. Rocked out to some pop music crap I don’t even like on the way. Pull up. Get geared up. Lock the keys in the car. I’m on an unnamed road.  No insurance card. Phone at 50%. A spot I won’t say but many of you know. It’s sometime around 1pm. 
 

Tried for an hour plus to get into the car using my dehooker to pry the door open slightly and my primary surf rod ($160 Shimano Speedmaster) to push on the unlock button. Hit it a bunch of times without damaging the top half of the rod but no pop sound from the locks.

 

At 2:30, with kid sports schedule obligations approaching, I called 911. Got passed around from township to township. Hung up. Bit the first bullet and started calling locksmiths & roadside assistance places I found on the phone. 

 

Bit bullet #2 when one finally picked up & charged me $170 to come let me in the car. The guy calls me at 3 to say he’s 10 -15 minutes away. Okay. But time goes by, I’m calling him with no answer. Call back the service/dispatch and yadayada the guy isn’t coming. New guy coming now. 
 

Spent the next hour smashing my rod into the passenger side door, hitting the button, no successes, broke both halves! Hahahaha. New guy still can’t find me. Had to send Google maps gps as my phone is at 5% to him sad he Finally showed up at maybe 5:30. 
 

By now, had to give up the truth, getting yelled at by she-who-must-be-feared LOL. Yelled at again for two straight days now. Starting to normalize finally this afternoon as my special needs son ripped my arm open again with his nails. Good times!

 

Anyway, hope you can’t relate and maybe you can or maybe you’ll get a chuckle in either case! 


Everyone alive and it’s just life. This too shall pass. Tight lines. 
 

———
 

(Forgive the LOLs. Not normally my thing but I’m trying to show I’m not feeling sorry for myself or seeking pity - because truly I’m not. Only myself to blame which is the worst kind of blame. So laughing is the result!)

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58 mins ago, EricDice said:

Figured this is too much and mostly not fishing report to be in the reports thread. But also too stoopid not to cherish. And something only fellow tug drug anglers would appreciate. 
 

Took a chunk of Thursday off to fish. Was asked to be home early so I figured I would do accomplish that and maybe catch a fish. Didn’t run it up the chain for spousal approval because I’ve gotten tired of the “I’m shocked you would even ask that right now response.” Mind you it’s May and I’ve collected less than 5 hours total of real fishing in ‘22 - but this is the normal response for years. 
 

So, clandestine operations ensue. Hit a spot way in the back. Striper (presumably a striper) took a swipe at my modified Danny (blade on the rear hanger - so sexy) but no other love for plugs or even bloodworms - trying to shake the skunk. 
 

Decided to move. Rocked out to some pop music crap I don’t even like on the way. Pull up. Get geared up. Lock the keys in the car. I’m on an unnamed road.  No insurance card. Phone at 50%. A spot I won’t say but many of you know. It’s sometime around 1pm. 
 

Tried for an hour plus to get into the car using my dehooker to pry the door open slightly and my primary surf rod ($160 Shimano Speedmaster) to push on the unlock button. Hit it a bunch of times without damaging the top half of the rod but no pop sound from the locks.

 

At 2:30, with kid sports schedule obligations approaching, I called 911. Got passed around from township to township. Hung up. Bit the first bullet and started calling locksmiths & roadside assistance places I found on the phone. 

 

Bit bullet #2 when one finally picked up & charged me $170 to come let me in the car. The guy calls me at 3 to say he’s 10 -15 minutes away. Okay. But time goes by, I’m calling him with no answer. Call back the service/dispatch and yadayada the guy isn’t coming. New guy coming now. 
 

Spent the next hour smashing my rod into the passenger side door, hitting the button, no successes, broke both halves! Hahahaha. New guy still can’t find me. Had to send Google maps gps as my phone is at 5% to him sad he Finally showed up at maybe 5:30. 
 

By now, had to give up the truth, getting yelled at by she-who-must-be-feared LOL. Yelled at again for two straight days now. Starting to normalize finally this afternoon as my special needs son ripped my arm open again with his nails. Good times!

 

Anyway, hope you can’t relate and maybe you can or maybe you’ll get a chuckle in either case! 


Everyone alive and it’s just life. This too shall pass. Tight lines. 
 

———
 

(Forgive the LOLs. Not normally my thing but I’m trying to show I’m not feeling sorry for myself or seeking pity - because truly I’m not. Only myself to blame which is the worst kind of blame. So laughing is the result!)

No, turn in your man card ASAP. Seriously. :gay:

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I feel yer pain, brutha.  Been there and done that.  About four decades ago I had the usual weekly meeting in Boston, drove to LaGuardia with just enuf time to catch the shuttle as I ran into the terminal.  Meeting over early, shuttle back to LaGuardia, walk out to the parking lot and realize I can't find the key to the new Subaru.  Then I realized it was in the ignition ... and the engine was running.  For seven hours.  Called the wife at her Manhattan job and 2 hours later we were driving back to Jersey in rush hour traffic.  Yep, life happens.

The only government I trust is the .45-70

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1 hour ago, SIC34 said:

I'm embarrassed for you bro :point:

I forgot about you. You musta got a chubby when you saw this thread.
 

Musta sent some young boy home ass agape disappointed just to type up those responses. 

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@JerseyJeb Still dunno if we have roadside. Insurance card was in the car.  As was my flask which I badly needed at that point!!

 

No virtual copy I could think of although now I can. Oh well. Place said they would undo $50 worth of the charge after I complained. Never did so. 

 

By the time I replace that rod it’ll be a $500+ mistake. This too shall pass.


:-)

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6 hours ago, 55555s said:

lol

By the time you factor in broken rod tip, angered souse, and locksmith guy fee, you are usually better off just smashing a back window.  

 

Stash-a-key magnet is cheap.  As is a belt clip when hands and pockets are busy. 

 

 

The craziest part is I usually plan for the worst. At the prior location, I left the keys hidden on the back tire BEFORE I even hit the lock button and closed the door. And I had the spare key with me in my backpack locked in the car itself that I didn’t realize until I got back in. 
 

I actually noticed the keys on the trunk floor, said to myself “that’s got disaster written all over it,” and then still closed the back gate anyway I guess because I am not in possession of my man card. Haha. 

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I've worked in an industry where we always have 40-50 customer truck keys in our possession, and from that I have learned 2 hard won lessons:

Never, ever, neverever lock a door with the button.

Always, always, alwayseverytime, lock the truck with the key in your hand. Very hard to lock the keys in that way.

The sound of the door lock clicking usually happens milliseconds before your brain realizes "My keys are in there."

 

Great story, glad it wasn't me, thanks for sharing.

"Can You Hear Me, Doctor?"

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