GeoffT

Assisted living

Rate this topic

36 posts in this topic

9 mins ago, Lagerhead said:

What do they do? Find you money from the government? 

Ours helped us navigate the Medicare or MA Health baloney. A lot at 1st is covered, but as her Mother stayed on, things get complicated. Plus, Assisted Living Homes have AWFUL lawyers just waiting to pounce. Our story is complicated, you really need to be careful or you can end up owing a TON of money. 

 

Nursing homes and assisted living homes are nasty places. You need to be present all the time and check in a LOT. I've seen too much. I hate those places, but sometimes you don't have a choice. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited) · Report post

1 min ago, Mokes said:

I've seen too much. I hate those places, but sometimes you don't have a choice. 

 

There is always a choice. See Dr. Kovarkian for an example. We treat our pets better at end of life than we do our elderly. 

Edited by MikeMc

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 mins ago, spiegs71 said:

Lots of not so good places out there 

like the place they put pins in the residents shirts and tied a string to the back of the chair so when their meds made them zonked they wouldn’t fall face first into the table or floor 

They get you doped up then look out for your safety. And the problem is???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, i07nyc said:

Personally I would not hire a clean out service. I've done quite a few of them and found hundreds if not thousands of dollars worth of cash. Usually stuffed in pants or jacket pockets. Hoarders also usually have some valuable collectables mixed in with junk. The house I bought had 5lbs of gold coins stuffed underneath the kitchen sink. Guy doing the clean out found them. I've searched every nook hoping to find one he may have missed.

Wife’s mom passed suddenly alone in her apartment.
We found $10G in a night stand and $75G in a plastic bag hidden under plastic bags(!) in a lower kitchen cabinet…

used $10G for adoption…we thought she was storing it to give to us.

used $75G to buy summer condo in NJ shore…family has history of beach loving property…all seemed to make sense….too bad she did just before her new granddaughter arrived.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
5 mins ago, Mokes said:

Ours helped us navigate the Medicare or MA Health baloney. A lot at 1st is covered, but as her Mother stayed on, things get complicated. Plus, Assisted Living Homes have AWFUL lawyers just waiting to pounce. Our story is complicated, you really need to be careful or you can end up owing a TON of money. 

 

Nursing homes and assisted living homes are nasty places. You need to be present all the time and check in a LOT. I've seen too much. I hate those places, but sometimes you don't have a choice. 

Not all are nasty places. Some do a great job.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
25 mins ago, GeoffT said:

We are probably gonna need to get respite care for mom until we can find her permanent housing.  

 

What is that? 

I miss my mom and dad immensley but am happy that neither suffered through dementia. I'd rather they be gone than go through that. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited) · Report post

5 mins ago, MikeMc said:

 

What is that? 

 

"Respite care provides short-term relief for primary caregivers. It can be arranged for just an afternoon or for several days or weeks. Care can be provided at home, in a healthcare facility, or at an adult day center." 

 

In our case, we are hoping to find temporary housing until she transitions to a permanent residency if we can't find one right away.

Edited by GeoffT

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
45 mins ago, i07nyc said:

They get you doped up then look out for your safety. And the problem is???

Many are looking out for your MONEY, and when that runs out, so do they...

That's when you hear of cases of elderly abuse in some of these granny mills.

They'll take you in, and take care of you until your money runs out, then they give you room and board.

 

The best advice after the elder law lawyer is to make sure you check in periodically, UNANNOUNCED to see how the parent is doing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MikeMc said:

 

I've read a few of his posts. I don't think he ever stops drinking. 

 

1 hour ago, Ditchbag said:

So it's lifestyle drinking , not day drinking?

what gave it away, the hat? 

WTF???!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited) · Report post

if you find the right person, caregiver, then 24 hour live-in is what I would try to do. Especially if $$ isn't an issue. 

Good luck Geoff.

and get an estate attorney.

 

Edited by Nite_Bite_00

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Posted (edited) · Report post

2 hours ago, MikeMc said:

 

There is always a choice. See Dr. Kovarkian for an example. We treat our pets better at end of life than we do our elderly. 

We didn't with the stroke. Started out as "rehab", but they quickly give up on the elderly. Strokes take a long time to recover from, if at all. Her Mama needed a lot of care and even though my wife's Mom was skinny, transfers were impossible for my wife. She tried so hard to learn it, but she couldn't and melted down. It was horrible. Every day was horrible and we found a "fancy" care facility. 

 

So many Africans work at these places and I'm sorry, but many suck at their job. Many we're pretty racist too. I was shocked at some of the stuff we heard and had to contend with. My wife almost punched one nurse out. I literally caught her arm as she cocked it back lol. God I love her. 

Edited by Mokes

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Nite_Bite_00 said:

if you find the right person, caregiver, then 24 hour live-in is what I would try to do. Especially if $$ isn't an issue. 

Good luck Geoff.

and get an estate attorney.

 

Yup. My wife's stepfather has Dementia and the family has the coin for that. It's not cheap though. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 mins ago, Mokes said:

Yup. My wife's stepfather has Dementia and the family has the coin for that. It's not cheap though. 

no it's not cheap. but the right person becomes like a family member. wife's granny had a wonderful Polish lady for the last 3 years of her life. she made her last years memorable and amazing 92 years old. this woman was truly a blessing! 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
27 mins ago, Mokes said:

We didn't with the stroke. Started out as "rehab", but they quickly give up on the elderly. Strokes take a long time to recover from, if at all. Her Mama needed a lot of care and even though my wife's Mom was skinny, transfers were impossible for my wife. She tried so hard to learn it, but she couldn't and melted down. It was horrible. Every day was horrible and we found a "fancy" care facility. 

 

So many Africans work at these places and I'm sorry, but many suck at their job. Many we're pretty racist too. I was shocked at some of the stuff we heard and had to contend with. My wife almost punched one nurse out. I literally caught her arm as she cocked it back lol. God I love her. 

Similar exp with the Africans.  Also That’s not an easy job.  My old man was bed ridden w dementia.  Tough situation for everyone.  

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to register here in order to participate.

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.