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Fish Hunter

Welcome to North Carolina

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I just could not resist.biggrin.gifbiggrin.gif

 

WELCOME TO NORTH CAROLINA!

ATTENTION ALL VISITORS TO NORTH CAROLINA

 

1. Pull up your pants and take that earring out. You look like an idiot.

 

2. It's called a "gravel road." No matter how slow you drive, you're still going to get dust on your BMW. So, drive or git outta the way.

 

3. We drive four-wheel drive vehicles because we need them.

 

4. Yeah, we all started hunting and fishing before we started to school. Sure, we saw "Bambi" but we got over it.

 

5. Any reference to "Jesus Freaks" will be considered a compliment.

 

6. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod but don't cry when a catfish breaks it off at the handle. [ We have a name for that little 10 inch bass you are fishing for -- its called "bait." ]

 

7. That bent-over farmer did more work before breakfast than you do all week including your visits to the gym. He does not need your respect but he surely DESERVES IT.

 

8. If your cell phone rings while we are in the green field watching for a buck, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't have it to your ear at that time. (This should also be applied in restaurants and movies as well !! )

 

9. That's right, we go to church on Sunday morning -- and on Sunday night and on Wednesday night -- and any other time the church is having services.

 

10. A high school football game or a little league baseball game is just as important here as your professional teams and a lot more fun to watch.

 

11. If you bring "Coke" into our homes, it had better be brown, wet, and best when served over a glass of ice.

 

12. So you have a $60,000 car. We're really impressed. Shoot, we drive tractors, cotton pickers and hay balers that cost a quarter million dollars, and we only drive them a few weeks each year.

 

13. Remember, we stop when lights are red and most of the time when they are yellow.

 

14. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks -- simply because they want to. So, if you are a feminist, we don't think you are very cute.

 

15. Yeah, we eat catfish, deer, rabbit, and squirrel, too. You want sushi? It's available. You can get it at the bait shop.

 

16. Those are goats, cows, chickens, and pigs--and that is exactly what they smell like. Get over it.

 

17. So, you don't like South (North) Carolina? Well, Interstate 20 (40)runs two ways - East and West. We also have Interstate 95 & 85 that runs two ways- North and South. JUST PICK ONE!

 

18. So people you pass in our county areas wave and most people on our city streets smile. We call it being friendly. You might try to understand the concept.

 

19. The opening day of deer season is like a religious holiday. In many places, they serve deer hunters breakfast at the neighborhood church.

 

20. And last, we still believe in the Bible; that Jesus is the only way to get to Heaven; and that Adam's sin separated man from God. -- DON'T YOU ? ?

 

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ummm... whatever happened to the separation of church and state?

 

Can I bring my jewish friend along?

 

Should I leave him at the border?

 

 

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You might be a redneck if:

 

(insert your blurb here)

 

Actually my wife accuses me of being one on a regular basis and I'm from NJ (beermaking, barbeque, hunting, fishing, camping, being semi-feral) HappyWave.gif

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tankboy: do you think that my wife thinks I'm a "redneck" from Kentucky? Maybe, she's never said it (But I sure have fun with her friend's from Choate, Spence and Dowling...you have to keep people entertained while you're secretly laughing at them!)

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