JBOntario

Joke of Day Forum ?

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There used to be an unofficial (light hearted) 'rule' that new members had to tell a joke during their first post :-) And these jokes were generally posted right here in the main forum

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Oldie but goodie. I hope I remember how to tell it correctly.

 

Life Savers Candy employees were testing colors vs flavors on children.

 

The first candy that was given to the children was a green Lifesaver candy.

”Can anybody tell me what this flavor is?”

The kids raised their hands, ”I can! I can! It’s lime!” they replied.

 

Next was an off-yellow Lifesaver.

”How about this one?” 

The kids thought for a little, “I think it’s Pineapple! Yea, Pineapple!”

 

Next up was a brown honey flavored Lifesaver.

”Can you tell us what flavor this one is?”

The kids thought and thought. “Mmm.. u.. dunn.. no...”

”We’ll give you a hint. It’s what your mommy calls your daddy.”

”hmmm”

Suddenly, a horrified look came over a little girls face.

She screams to the other children, “Quick! Spit them out! They’re @$$ holes!”

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5 hours ago, JBOntario said:

New Member Here , Is There A "Joke of Day " Section Within Forum ? Thanks

Better be good! I need a good laugh

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2 hours ago, R.R. Bridge Fisher said:

Nope

Welcome and have at it. Lets hear it?

Ok , I'll try & post a "Joke of the Day & Meme " whenever I'm on hope its accepted for humour lol...

"Lion Tamer Wanted"
> 
> A circus owner runs an ad for a "Lion Tamer Wanted" and two people show up. One is an old golfer in his seventies, the other a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a great body in her twenties.
> 
> The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. "Here's your equipment… a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
> 
> The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion gets all heated up, starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat, revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
> 
> The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!" Then he turns to the old golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"
> 
> The tough old golfer replies… "Possibly... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."
 

Screen Shot 2018-02-04 at 2.19.59 AM.png

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7 hours ago, JBOntario said:

Ok , I'll try & post a "Joke of the Day & Meme " whenever I'm on hope its accepted for humour lol...

"Lion Tamer Wanted"
> 
> A circus owner runs an ad for a "Lion Tamer Wanted" and two people show up. One is an old golfer in his seventies, the other a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a great body in her twenties.
> 
> The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history. "Here's your equipment… a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
> 
> The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first." She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage. The lion gets all heated up, starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat, revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
> 
> The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!" Then he turns to the old golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"
> 
> The tough old golfer replies… "Possibly... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."
 

Screen Shot 2018-02-04 at 2.19.59 AM.png

Not bad

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