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watching your old man get old

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HugeDinghy

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"mostly" physical. poor bastard has to get whatever-the-new-age-cortisone shot is, every three months, both hips and his back. only mental stuff I notice is a constant low level frustration (not sure how any adult who pays attention cant feel similarly, though)  which can be a sign of things to come for sure. 

 

watching him move is tough. 

 

makes me extremely thankful though, that I was able to grow up with a father that I literally thought was a super hero. 

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Yeah, mine is 93 and still living alone in the house that I grew up in.

His knees are shot, and some other ailments, but he doesn't complain much.

His joy is not so much his kids but his grandkids, and he'll tell you about skipping generations.

Luckily with all the kids, he gets a lot of visits, people do his shopping, etc.

 

Someone tried to scam him yesterday, called and said it was me and I was in jail in Jersey and needed bail money.

Threw him for a loop.

 

Getting old sucks, but it's not as sad as you might imagine. I think a certain wisdom comes with it, and you realize that it is what it is.

I'm getting old too.

So are you. 

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11 mins ago, fatbikerjoe said:

Going through that now.  He's not moving around as easily as he used to.  Complains about his hips, his knee.  It's my turn to take care of him and things.  Spend as much time with him as I can while I still have him.

Pretty much this. Being that my dad died when I was young, it was my mom who was my hero. I was fortunate to have her living in my town her last 10 years so it made it easy for me to help out and get my kids over to see her a lot. It can be a rough time of your life seeing them get old but just being around him as much as possible   Is the best thing for you and him.

If you use eclairs in your example, he will get it right away. MikeMc

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Mine got old very fast. He was either 78 or 79, and got hip replacement surgery so that he could try to keep playing golf. Long story short: they effed up the surgery, and he had to have 5 more operations to fix the screwups. He had to sit in a chair for six months through this -- he had no hip, and couldn't move -- and by the time they finally fixed him, he had muscle atrophy and all that, and was a shriveled version of himself. He never got that back. He stayed the same for 3 or 4 years, and then went downhill very quickly, and was dead in a few months.

 

By the end -- this was a few years ago -- it was a relief, pretty much for everyone. He wanted to die, and while we didn't want him to die, we didn't want to see him live the way he was either.

Terri Mae does not approve this message, but screw him.

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I went through it with my parents. Their final years were rough.

Just remember that if they are in pain it may manifest itself in meanness toward others.

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Ce n'est pas le mur derrière lequel il se passe quelque chose, mais bien la cuisinière dans laquelle on a brûlé quelque chose

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My dad is only 56 but last 4 or 5 years his body turned on him after he drank himself into diabetes. Feel like he aged 15 years over the last 2. Gained a bunch of weight, head looks a little swollen and still drinking every night. I still want to remember him as being the age i am now but that's gone. 

Grandfather had a stroke almost 3 years ago and that pretty much ended his independence. Sad to hear him talk about the things he wants to do but can't do anymore. Tough situation but unfortunately unavoidable. 

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Tell him how much you love him, appreciate him and how important he is to you.  If you don't have that kind of relationship because it's not manly enough or whatever, screw it.  Say it to him at least once so that you know you told him and he hears it from you.  Then spend time with him and learn what you can.  Have your kids (if you have any) videotape him and ask him some questions about your family, family traditions, things your dad remembers from his childhood, etc.  That way you have something to watch later on in life together with your kids.

Sometimes, when you're in a dark place, you think you've been buried, but you've actually been planted.  

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49 mins ago, HugeDinghy said:

"mostly" physical. poor bastard has to get whatever-the-new-age-cortisone shot is, every three months, both hips and his back. only mental stuff I notice is a constant low level frustration (not sure how any adult who pays attention cant feel similarly, though)  which can be a sign of things to come for sure. 

 

watching him move is tough. 

 

makes me extremely thankful though, that I was able to grow up with a father that I literally thought was a super hero. 

This hits extremely hard right now.  The acceleration rate of the degeneration is shocking.

"all of jase's posts are valid." -Otter

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36 mins ago, Billybob said:

Yeah, mine is 93 and still living alone in the house that I grew up in.

His knees are shot, and some other ailments, but he doesn't complain much.

His joy is not so much his kids but his grandkids, and he'll tell you about skipping generations.

Luckily with all the kids, he gets a lot of visits, people do his shopping, etc.

 

Someone tried to scam him yesterday, called and said it was me and I was in jail in Jersey and needed bail money.

Threw him for a loop.

 

Getting old sucks, but it's not as sad as you might imagine. I think a certain wisdom comes with it, and you realize that it is what it is.

I'm getting old too.

So are you. 

Beats the alternative..

At least as far as we know..

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It’s tough to see the people you love become more and more dependent on someone. My Pop was a heavy equipment mechanic for over 40 years for Mass Electric, and it really took a toll on his body. On his back in all kinds of weather, he was as tough as they come. He’s now 78, and has had 2 neck, and 5 back surgeries. Walks like he’s drunk, cause his legs are so weak. Doesn’t bitch, goes to church everyday with Mom, and to the coffee shop to see friends, and then to his rocking chair to read the paper till his chin hits his chest for a bit. He’s learned to live with his limitations, and is fairly content. Thank God Mom is superwoman that has enough energy for them both. 

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Guess I’m older because we dealt with this years ago.  It’s difficult but unavoidable.  Now seeing so much of my aged father in myself which is also a bit weird.  

"I have ... put a lump of ice into an equal quantity of water ...  if a little sea salt be added to the water we shall produce a fluid sensibly colder than the ice was in the beginning, which has appeared a curious and puzzling thing to those unacquainted with the general fact."- Joseph Black

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