BrianBM

New Platform for SOL coming; joke consequences

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164 posts in this topic

Oh boy.

Obviously, I'm also busting balls Patchy...seems weird to have to write that, I thought it was self evident.

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TimS, since you're here, will I be able to override the planned automation of knotfail.exe, windloop.exe and inducefart.exe if the jokeless poster is sufficiently penitent? 

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A blonde bought a Yetti cup and took it to work with her. One of her coworkers asked, what is that silver thingy on your desk?

 

The blonde said it is a Yetti cup.  Then the coworker asked, what is a Yetti cup for?

 

The blonde told her, it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.  The coworker then asked What's in it today?

 

A Popsicle and two cups of coffee.

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Whats the difference between pick and choose?

Pick is something you select.

Choose is something a puerto Rican puts on their feet.

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A husband and wife who work for the circus go to an adoption agency. Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.

 

The couple produces photos of their 50-foot motor home, which is clean, well-maintained and equipped with a beautiful nursery.

 

The social workers raise concerns about the education a child would receive while in the couple's care.

 

"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin, and computer skills."

 

Then the social workers express concern about a child being raised in a circus environment.

 

"Our nanny is a certified expert in paediatric care, welfare, and diet," the circus couple explained.

 

The social workers are finally satisfied. They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"

 

"It doesn't really matter, as long the kid fits into the cannon.”

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A little five year old girl was usually driven to school in the mornings by her Grandad, but one day he had a bad cold so her Grandmother took her.

 

That night the little girl told her parents that the ride to school with Granny was very different. "What made it different?" asked her parents.

 

"Well," she replied, "Gran and I didn't see a single tosser, blind bastard, foreign prick or wanker on the whole journey."

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An older British chap on a trip to Chicago was standing on a corner waiting for a bus on a typical windy day. A very lovely young lady in a dress walks up and a gust of wind blows her dress up. Well the chap notices she NOT wearing any undies while she's pushing her flowing dress back down. Trying to be a gentleman while looking away he politely says with his English accent "A bit airy ain't it?" The young lady red faced blurts back "What did you expect, horse feathers"?

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