BrianBM

New Platform for SOL coming; joke consequences

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Aaaaaaaahhhh   ..... nicely bad.

 

I like a groaner. I like sight gags, too, an equivalent kind of humor.  Flathandah86 is admitted to our noble and august company.

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Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. 
 
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.
 
An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...
 

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A woman is in bed with her lover who also happens to be her husband's best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they're just laying
there, the phone rings. Since it is the woman's house, she picks up the receiver. Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the
conversation...

(She is speaking in a cheery voice)

"Hello? Oh, hi. I'm so glad that you called. Really? That's wonderful. I am so happy for you. That sounds terrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye
bye." She hangs up the telephone and her lover asks, "Who was that?"

"Oh" she replies, "that was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he's having on his fishing trip with you."

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The Old fisherman.... 
 
 The rain was pouring down.  There standing in front of a big puddle outside the pub was an old Irishman, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water. 
 
 A passer-by stopped and asked, "What are you doing?" 
 
 "Fishing" replied the old man. 
 
 Feeling sorry for the old man, the gent says, "Come in out of the rain and have a drink with me." 
 
In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, the gentleman, being a bit of a smart ass, cannot resist asking, "So how many have you caught today?" 
 
 "You're the eighth", says the old man.

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Hmmmm.  Not bad at all. 

 

A man goes into a movie theater and sits down, and suddenly realizes that he's sitting next to a polar bear.

 

The man asks, "Are you a polar bear?"

 

The bear says "Yes, I am."

 

The man asks "What are you doing here?"

 

The bear says "Well, I liked the book."

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A young couple goes to the doctor cause they’re having trouble having a baby.  The doctor says let me show you how it’s done, throws the wife on the table and has his way with her. Then he says to the husband, any questions?   Just one , how often should I bring her in?    

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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

 

Three. One to change the light bulb, one to steady the ladder, and one to stand there and say "I can do that..."

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I was fishing with a old buddy Ted yesterday at the local town pond . Every time Ted pulled a fish in he yelled out loud “ female “ and released it . Another fish for Mike he yelled out “ another female . Two woman walking together along the path stopped and asked Ted . “ Mr how do you tell the difference between the female and male fish ? “ Ted with a quick answer replied “ they are the ones with their mouth always open”.  

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John and Mary had a wonderful retirement. John fished every day, Mary ran a book club. John comes home from fishing one afternoon and walks into the house. "Mary?", John calls, nothing. His cell phone rings, its Johns fishing buddy Bill who is a Doctor. "John, youve got to come quick, Mary had a stroke and shes up here at the hospital." John rushes up to the hospital and Bill tells him "John, Mary had a bad stroke and is going to need 24 hour care from you. You are going to have to spend all day taking care of her from now on. No more fishing every morning and every weekend." John stands there with a horrified look on his face. Then Bill says, "I'm just kidding. She died 2 hours ago."

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