BrianBM

New Platform for SOL coming; joke consequences

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As most posters here have probably noticed, TimS is planning another change of platform.  Huddler, vBulletin, none of them earn his affection for long.  I think he gets unhappy when he has no reason to pull his hair out. 

 

As long-time posters know, this Forum has always required a joke from new posters.  Failure to tell one can result in knot failure, wind loops, and (for repeat offenders) breaking wind in the presence of attractive women, all of which can be visited upon the noncompliant by myself as Moderator in this Forum (only this one; the sanction app has been buggy, and it hasn't been extended to other Forums.)  Normally the IRS deadline of April 15 is the deadline, though this year it was moved to April 18.  With the usual month's grace period, if you are new here and have not yet submitted a joke, your deadline is May 18.

 

The relevance of this is that with the new platform, some of these sanctions will be automated, and I'm not sure if I can override the application if you don't get it done.  I'll pin this warning up for awhile, so everyone notices.  If you're a new guy, pay attention.

 

It so happens that I have an immediate need for jokes I can tell to two bright third graders, one male and one female.  I therefore request that posters in this thread supply me with age-appropriate humor for that generation.

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What green and red, and goes 500 miles an hour backwards?

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A frog in a blender.

Edited by JoeyZac

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What do you call a string of rabbits hopping backwards? 

 

Receding Hare line. 

 

and if those same rabbits hoping creates a large crack in the ground? 

 

Hare line fracture. 

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I'm new and seeing as I like it here I guess I'm up.

 

Ready?

 

What kind of bees make milk?

 

Boo-bees!

 

Walka Walka Walka

 

Not great, or even very good but it's all I have.

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Wait, that first one jarred something loose and I remembered another one:

 

Why can't you run in a campground?

 

You must ran, because it's past tents!!

 

Ahh, I kill me.

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A man goes to a psychologist for trouble sleeping. The doc says "what seems to be the problem sir?" The man replies with "I've been having these terrible dreams lately where I am first a teepee, then a wigwam, then a teepee again, wigwam again, back and forth teepee wigwam teepee wigwam all night long. What could be wrong with me?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Doc says, "I think I know what your problem is - you're two tents"

 

He he he ha ha ha....... keeping with the theme of the post above me.

Edited by capefish4231

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Good!

 

Once the new platform is running, I'd like to hear from the first person to be victimized by the automated sanction software.  I have no idea what it will do.

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I told a joke somewhere, but here's another:

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but seran wrap. He says, "doc, I don't know what's wrong with me."

The doctor says, "well, I can clearly see yer nuts."

 

(For those keeping score, both of the jokes I've told are puns about nuts. I wouldn't read into that.)

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Wait, that first one jarred something loose and I remembered another one:

 

Why can't you run in a campground?

 

You must ran, because it's past tents!!

 

Ahh, I kill me.

oooooof.....that was painful......LMAO!!!

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The Teacher says to the class: Who ever stands up is stupid

 

*Nobody stands up*

 

Teacher: I said who ever stands up is STUPID!

 

*Little Johnny stands up*

 

Teacher: Johnny, do you really think that you are stupid?

 

Little Johnny: No Mrs, I just thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing.

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So Brian will Tim be porting over galleries and photos with this upgrade? Still miss not having them on some of the older threads from the last upgrade.

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