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Bass Ackwards

One Liners

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41 posts in this topic

 

1.I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

2.I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

3.Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

4.If I throw a stick, will you leave?

5.Does your train of thought have a caboose?

6.Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

7.Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

8.Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

9.See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

10.Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

11.A woman’s favorite position is CEO.

12.I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

13.A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

14.Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

15.Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?

16.I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

17.Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

18.Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.

19.Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

20.Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

21.Never trust a dog to watch your food.

22.Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

23.If At First You Don’t Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

24.You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

 

 

 

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1.I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

2.I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

3.Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

4.If I throw a stick, will you leave?

5.Does your train of thought have a caboose?

6.Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

7.Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

8.Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

9.See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

10.Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

11.A woman’s favorite position is CEO.

12.I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

13.A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

14.Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

15.Can I trade this job for what’s behind door number 1?

16.I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

17.Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

18.Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I’m wrong.

19.Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

20.Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

21.Never trust a dog to watch your food.

22.Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

23.If At First You Don’t Succeed, Blame Someone Else And SeekCounseling.

24.You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me.

 

25. Never argue with an idiot, they will drag you down to there level and beat you with experience.

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26. Never argue with an idiot, there will come a point in time when no one will be able to tell which one of you is the idiot.

 

 

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My wife's favorite:

Men are only good for one thing...

And how often do you need to parallel park anyway.

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(when someone sticks there nose into a project)

I'm screwin' this cat...if it has any kittens, I'll give you a call.

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