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Tales & Lies ( mostly lies) from Glenmoore Pennsylvania. Nov. 2011

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I woke up early Sunday morning at about 5 am. because the grass needed to be cut on the farm. We hadn't been able to cut it all month due to the rainy weather and it was about a foot long.

Much of the grass is alongside the gravel roads, cornfields, and pastures which is where the hunters like to hide when they stalk their prey, the elusive white tailed deer.

I think many of them are sociopaths so I cut the grass on Sundays when hunting is closed. This mitigates the likelihood of me being murdered by one of those crazies....however I still see them

skulking around the woods in their camo clothing throwing corn all over the place to attract the stupid deer. Whenever I come across a hunter I always act really nice to them because who knows when they will snap.

I pretend to care about what they are saying and then I make an excuse and drive away....quickly!!! But I digress...




This is some wet grass, blurry wet grass

So I open up the fridge and pull out the Brita water filter pitcher. I take an empty soda bottle and fill it up with the free Brita water. I'll bet I've saved upwards of 20 thousand dollars in my lifetime doing this.

I put the magical elixir into the pocket of my hooded sweatshirt and start walking down the driveway. I get about 100 yards away and hear a voice saying, "you forgot your gloves!"

It wasn't an actual voice, but an imaginary voice inside my head. This voice is usually helpful and nice. I walked back to the garage and grabbed my Stihl gloves. I like them better than any other glove I've owned.

They cost about $25 and they are worth every cent. When they wear out ( as if! ) I'll get another pair.]


The bottle on the left is almost empty. The bottle on the right is almost empty too.




Oops! I forgot about this bottle!


So while I'm collecting my gloves I see my hearing protection earmuff thingies hanging from the steering wheel of my little tractor. "Oh my gosh!" I said ( not imaginary ) "That's 2 things I've forgotten today". I'm back on the driveway making my way to the barn where the big tractor is kept. I feel confident that I haven't forgotten anything else and I whistle a happy tune. I get to the fence gate, I pull back the lock bar and open it up all the way.

The fence is made of wood and was recently painted by 2 Amish guys. They didn't say much at all. I don't know if its because of their disdain of "English" or they were just in the zone. At any rate it took them 2 days to power wash and paint the fence.

I coulda done it myself in 2 days. ******* lazy Amish...sheesh! Actually one of them drove a truck so they might have been Mennonites. Whatever.]


Just like I said, hanging on the steering wheel. I'm no liar.


Okay, now I walk toward the barn and when I turn the corner and look inside I see the hay cutter, 2 trucks....and NO tractor! I forgot that it was in the other barn. Now I've got to walk all the way back across the street to the pole barn. A distance of about 200 yards.

I'm no longer whistling a happy tune. I close the fence gate, and then walk across the street to open another fence gate. This fence is made from posts strung with wire that can be electrified to keep the cows from escaping or the Mexicans from invading.

Ha-ha, that's a little joke. I was going to say "to keep Paulie of Montauk from rapin' " but I didn't want to start a fire with the Paulie apologists.


I walk up to the barn door and I can see the John Deere tractor through the window and even though its only 20 feet away it might as well be a million miles away....I forgot to bring the key!!! If this grass is going to be cut I'm going to have to walk another 200 yards back to my house, get the key, and walk another 200 yards back to the pole barn.


...To be continued






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Originally Posted by MikeMc View Post


Can you hunt with rifles there or does it have to be shotgun??


Anything you want. Just leave the 410 at home, they're already strip mining the region.


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