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Mr. Bigdeal

Here's One For Ya.............

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"Da End Iss Near! Turn Yourself Aroundt Now! Before It"s Too Late!"

 

Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads:

 

"Da End iss Near! Turn Yourself Aroundt Now! Before It"s Too Late!"

 

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

 

From the curve we heard screeching tires and a big splash. Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say 'Bridge Out'?"

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Never Question a Drunk

 

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected:

 

A half-gallon of 2% milk,

 

A carton of eggs,

 

A quart of orange juice,

 

A head of romaine lettuce,

 

A 2 lb. can of coffee,

 

And a 1 lb. package of bacon.

 

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.

 

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

 

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.

 

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?"

 

The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly.".

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View Post"Da End Iss Near! Turn Yourself Aroundt Now! Before It"s Too Late!"

 

Reverend Ole was the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven was the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road. I saw them yesterday standing by the road, pounding a sign into the ground, that reads:

 

"Da End iss Near! Turn Yourself Aroundt Now! Before It"s Too Late!"

 

As a car sped past them, the driver leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

 

From the curve we heard screeching tires and a big splash. Rev. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say 'Bridge Out'?"

 

 

 

clapping.gifclapping.gifclapping.gif Thanks for the smile

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Maybe 1 more........

 

Many are the stories related to the sinking of the Titanic. Some new ones have just come to light due to the success of the movie. One, for example, that most people don't know is that in 1912, Hellman's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. The Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after New York City. The people of Mexico eagerly awaited the first delivery and were very upset at the news of the sinking. So much so, that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe today. It is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo

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