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Old Gunslinger

A Cowboy sitting in a saloon one Saturday night,

recognized an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his

day, had the reputation of being the fastest gun in the

West. The young cowboy took a place next to the old-timer,

bought him a drink and told him the story of his great


'Do you think you could give me some tips?'

he asked.

The old man looked him up and down and said,

'Well, for one thing, you're wearing your gun too

high. Tie the holster a little lower down on your leg.'


'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

asked the young man.'Sure will,' replied the old-timer.

The young man did as he was told, stood up,

whipped out his 44 and shot the bow tie off the piano

player. 'That's terrific!' said the hot shot.

'Got any more tips for me?'

'Yep,' said the old man. 'Cut a notch out

of your holster where the hammer hits it. That'll give

you a smoother draw.' 'Will that make me a better gunfighter?' asked the younger man.

'You bet it will,' said the old-timer.

The young man took out his knife, cut the notch,

stood up, drew his gun in a blur, and then shot a cufflink

off the piano player. 'Wow!' exclaimed the cowboy. 'I'mlearnin' somethin' here. Got any more tips?'

The old man pointed to a large can in a corner of

the saloon. 'See that axle grease over there? Coat your

gun with it.'

The young man went over to the can and smeared

some of the grease on the barrel of his gun.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'I mean smear it

all over the gun, handle and all.'

'Will that make me a better gunfighter?'

asked the young man.

'No,' said the old-timer, 'but when Wyatt

Earp gets done playing the piano, he's gonna shove that

gun up your ass, and it won't hurt as much.'

It's not the size of the fish, it's the size of the smile on your face.

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