Some Thoughts & Prayers, but much more..

[Chris N]

guys, gals... this is my 3rd attempt at writing this email. im not one who usually airs their laundry in public but i do truly feel i need to write this.

 

on new years eve morning, at about 7am i received what would be the worst call of my life. it was from my mother, who informed me that my little brother has passed away. he was 21 years young. apparently we was partying the night before at a NYE party and went to god in his sleep. the cause of the death is yet to be determined but we are most certain that it was one way or another linked to excessive alcohol abuse, drugs, or both. we won't know for a few weeks until the toxicology report comes back. there is also an investigation pending which will hopefully clear some things up.

 

i have 2 reasons for writing this thread. 1) is for your thoughts and prayers in this very hard time for my family, especially my mother, father & stepfather who should never have had to bury their son and 2) to simply be concious of your children who might show signs of abuse. sometimes, the abuse is much more severe and out of hand than you may realize. myself, my mom & my stepdad did nothing but try and show him the right way, he was taken under many a wing. when called out on it, he always denied & showed signs of control. my family and i like to call it him "yes-ing" us all the time.

 

anyhow guys, please... keep an eye on your kids and this is coming from a fairly young guy with no children... and take care of yourselves. life is too short to throw it away on silly things like alcohol and drugs. everyone likes to party, myself included.... but please realize the consequence of excess. leaving loved ones behind is never worth the consequence. please pray that dan is with the angels, which im sure he is. the kid was a saint.

 

thanks guys

[NIB]

Just awefull.Live on for ur brother Chris.

I will say a prayer for u an ur family in these trying times..

[Oneofour]

im so sorry, stay strong man, I hope that everything goes well for you and your family during these hard times, take care, we will all be saying many prayers for you and your family.

[Striperknight]

Chris,

 

 

Sorry for your loss. Stay strong and take care of your family.

 

 

- -SK

[Barkoff]

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

 

In the past I was guilty of negative thoughts directed towards parents of troubled teens, that is until I begin to have troubles under my own roof. When I first came to this forum I expalined that I had been away from the beach for a while, well, this sort of thing can take all your energy and ambitions away, only to be replaced with fear and worry.

 

My wife an I had trouble with one of our own for about three years before we finally had some break through. I have learned that good kids have problems, good kids make mistakes, and kids actions more times than not are no reflection on the parenting and affection they have recieved.

 

I'm sorry for you and your folks, that is a loss that leaves a lot to bare.

[jimmy z]

Hi Chris, I will keep your mom and stepdad, as well as you in my prayers.

I know what you are feeling. 10 years ago my younger brother died from years of drug abuse.

Folks don't realize, sometimes, only when it's too late.

I feel for your mom. I remember how devestated my mom was.

Drugs are no good. They are from satan.

Hang in there my friend. One day at a time.

[ErikT]

Very sorry to hear of this tragedy.. God bless your brother's soul and God bless you and your family during this incredibly tough time in your lives..

 

ErikT

[g2h]

that is awful. too young.. thoughts and prayers will be sent your way...

[DarkSkies]

Hey, Chris, so sorry to hear of your loss. It was sad reading your post.

 

My cousin killed himself 3 years ago around this time. Had lots of issues, and drowned them in secret with drugs and alcohol. Denied everything to the end b/c he was a "respected" member of the community. To this day, I wish I had tried harder to reach him, but in my heart I know I did the best I could. Some people just don't want help until they face death, and luckily some are given a second chance. Some are not.

 

My brother almost burned up in a fiery crash fueled by a drunken binge several years ago. He was given a second chance. It hasn't been easy, and he's lucky that crash only involved him and no one else.

 

Drugs are bad and get a lot of publicity, but sometimes alcohol is just as bad, if not worse. Some people will get offended if you light up at a gathering, but never a problem to have a beer in your hand.

 

Seems like you and your family tried to help him, but for some reason couldn't get through, But you did try. Hope that knowledge can somehow help you and your family to get through this. Saddest thing in the world for a parent to bury a child.

 

You said it was hard to put the words down, but thanks for having the perseverance to post. It's possible someone in this extended online family and network of families will get a new perspective on something, mend a fence with someone, or risk confrontation with those we love who are lost, and need to hear how they are slowly killing themselves.

 

My deepest condolences to you and your family. Will say a prayer for you all. - Dark

[Dan J]

My condolonces on your loss, Chris. It's tough enough when a family member dies. It's brutal when the person was young.

I hate unusual phone calls early in the morning or late at night. Usually bad news on the way. I had to make a call like that last fall.

[RnR]

Dude, that effing sucks.

 

My condolances to you and your family for your loss. Thoughts and prayers definitely on the way Chris.

 

Thanks for posting what you did.

21 years old, that's a crying shame.

[Steve in Mass]

Chris - that is terrible and I am so sorry to hear it. Try to stay strong for your family, and don't forget that you have another family here if you need someone to stay strong for you........

[CHIEF500]

Chris, really sory to hear of your lose. Please accept my sincere condolences.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[BrianZ]

Chris,

 

My deepest condolences. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[Lucky]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.