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About Belmo


  • Interests (Hobbies, favorite activities, etc.):
    Fishing, drinking, gambling.
  • What I do for a living:

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  1. The book is even better. Steinbeck only wrote one great book, but it is incredibly great, maybe even the best American novel of the 20th Century.
  2. Keep on keepin' on, comrade.
  3. Is it true that the toilet seats at Checkers have handlebars on them?
  4. I saw them at RFK in D.C. in 1990. I was 17. Boy, did they suck.
  5. We like to make chili as camping food. Prepare and measure the ingredients ahead of time, put 'em in Ziploc bags, throw the bags in the cooler, and then, when we get to the campsite, throw everything in a Dutch oven, put it in the fire, and drink a case of beer while it cooks. I like camping.
  6. That looks hotter than hell.
  7. I once got home, hammered, late one night, and got he hungry-hungries. The only food in the house was Chef Boyardee beef ravioli, in a can. I think I ate five cans -- right out of the can. My stomach the next morning felt like Cemetery Ridge looked the day after Pickett's Charge.
  8. He couldn't hold Tabu Ley Rochereau's jock!
  9. I like the ones with the neon artificial coloring. When I was about 14, I ate a half-gallon of cherry just to see if my **** turned red.
  10. I don't understand how they get it so that it's always slushy. I can see how they could keep it frozen solid, like a brick, and I can see how it could melt totally. How do they get it so that it's right in between -- and it's that way every time? It's a mystery to me.
  11. Did you hear that Liberace didn't really die of AIDS? He died of botulism: bad meat in the can.
  12. My dogs love peanut butter, and I've trained them to go nuts when I take the jar out of the fridge. I do that just so that when people come over, usually my wife's friends (I don't have any friends ), I can look at the abject expression of pure terror on their faces when I take the lid of the peanut butter jar and the hounds go nuts. That is great. Trader Joe's no-sugar-added peanut butter has two ingredients: peanuts and salt. It's $2 a jar. It's better than crack. And what's the deal with peanut butter? Why does it taste so much better than peanuts taste?
  13. Who took a **** on your square plates?