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What do you do when adult son moves back home...

post #1 of 45
Thread Starter 
With a girlfriend and they are both serious alcoholics? A-fifth-a-day each. This is a serious inquiry for a deadly serious situation.
post #2 of 45
Hope I never face this problem. Do you have to take him in? Its your home, so I would assume you could impose some rules and regs. Sorry, not experiance to help you with. Good luck
post #3 of 45
They move right back out.
post #4 of 45
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by FishAgain View Post
Hope I never face this problem. Do you have to take him in? Its your home, so I would assume you could impose some rules and regs. Sorry, not experiance to help you with. Good luck



^^^ He's not my son, not my house, not my personal situation. However, it is a situation that I am acutely aware of, and a very bad one at that.
post #5 of 45
It is your home not his. He can only move into your home if you allow him. If you allow him to live with you and continue his drinking ways then you are enabling him. Set hard and fast quantifiable conditions under which he can move into your home, like quit drinking, attending AA meetings or some other program, get a job, pay rent, submit to blood tests etc.

Edit: You posted more info while I was typing. pass on my post to your friend.
post #6 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ditch Jigger View Post
They move right back out.



Bingo
post #7 of 45
Throw them both out. *ly.

Their hell becomes yours, otherwise.

My parents are currently tolerating and enabling within their home a sibling of mine who is a prescription pill addict - they are dying, each day, faster than they ever should have been. But, I hate to say - it is a hell of their own choosing. And they can end it, should they ever chose to...but they don't.

But - believe me...it sucks.

You are dealing with a diseased person - not the person you love, but a twisted-by-alcohol version of that person. Until the disease has been arrested - and only they can arrest it - it will only get worse. So...where you are now is only the beginning. It goes downhill from here.
post #8 of 45
It's a prescription for mayhem. Unless your friend wants to have the police responding to 911 calls from the neighbors, tell him to get them out of there. This can lead to nothing but headaches. Alcohol fuels domestic violence, and sooner or later they'll start ripping him off if they run low on funds. Drink a fifth, light a smoke, pass out, the house burns down, maybe with him and his family trapped and unable to get out.
post #9 of 45
I would never deny my child food and a roof over their head, but if he made no attempt to make things right and just makes life miserable for me in my own home over alcohol i'd beat the crap out of him probably...i know my dad would have done the same to me and i have no issues wit how i was raised.

No chance of a girl moving in with him...
post #10 of 45
burn the house down
post #11 of 45
You don't take them in unless there's a well spelled out plan for sobriety agreed to beforehand. Otherwise its just a place for them to crash.
post #12 of 45
Possibly reach out to that intervention show on tv. Don't know the details but maybe the treatment would be free if they do the show.
post #13 of 45
Quote:
Originally Posted by seadogface View Post
burn the house down


yeah - that too.

If you don't, they will.
post #14 of 45
Hope they put themselves out of their misery.
post #15 of 45
I agree with speckhunter.
Sometimes the only solution is "tuff love".
If you allow him to move back in he will continue on the road to destruction and he will take you with him.
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