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Best Strip Club Stories

post #1 of 129
Thread Starter 
Believe it or not, I've rarely stepped foot in one. I think maybe a total of three times ever and twice was for bachelor parties. Never quite saw the point.

Anyway, the best/worst story was Hurricane East in Wildwood for my bachelor party in the middle of January. Its a bikini bar and there was 3 dancers for maybe 7 guys in there (me and three others along with some what looked like regulars including one guy who looked like the bar fly in The Perfect Storm). One check gets up on stage and you can tell she has a big belly underneath the THICK sweater she was wearing. We ask the one dancer who kept hanging around us why she was wearing a sweater in a strip club and she looks at us and blurts out "she just had a baby two weeks ago."

I think we stayed a total of an hour watching Eagles game before skedaddling out of there.
post #2 of 129
Nice. Was she carrying the baby 'roo in that pouch?
post #3 of 129
After watching some college hockey at the Providence Civic Center a long time ago my buddy and I go to a strip joint nearby. Now my friend is 6' 7" and 280 lbs, built like a lineman. The bouncer/manager at the door was about 50 something years old, built like a fighter, flatnosed, big hands etc., can tell he's been around the block. The place must've been short-handed that night for he was the only one working not serving drinks. He looks up at my friend, smiles and calmly says.. "I really hope that I have no trouble from YOU tonight."

My buddy says, and I quote.."Sir, I'm here to have a couple beers, watch the show and mind my own business." The bouncer walked us to the bar and told the bartender to give us what ever we wanted, for as long as we wanted.
post #4 of 129
Saw a string at Heartbreakers on the AP circle once...terrible.
post #5 of 129
As you may know I take classes at Rutgers.
One day my buddy and I had to end a day fishing early because of the weather (lightning), so we decided to stop in a place on the way home. There on the stage was a girl from my Cognition class. She came over somewhat nervous, she was worried that I might say something to someone in the class. I asked her, "have you ever seen me talk to ANYONE in that class?" She just laughed and moved on. She never did come over to us the rest of the night after that however. Next time I saw her in class all I could think about was, "she really manages to hide that great body somehow."
post #6 of 129
That's the problem with the clubs. You come out of them, and all you see is naked. Right down to the oldie mopping countertops at Dunkies, the crossing guard on the corner...you figure all it's gonna take is a buck. Bad mojo.
post #7 of 129
I don't really like Strip Clubs but sometimes you get dragged there.

I got dragged to this little seedy strip bar. I'm at the bar and I recognize one of the dancers. She had worked for me at a legitimate business. We had to let her go because she was using heroin on the store property. So I sit down at the bar and she has one leg over each of my shoulders and I say, "You don't remember me, do you?" She replies with the stripper standard, "Of course I do sweetie." I said, "No ****, I used to be your boss at *****." She then offered me and all of my friends lapdances which I politely declined. The h-bomb really had a hold on her. Kind of sad.

There are other ones but don't really involve me so it's not my place to tell them.
post #8 of 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick9915 View Post
I don't really like Strip Clubs but sometimes you get dragged there.

I got dragged to this little seedy strip bar. I'm at the bar and I recognize one of the dancers. She had worked for me at a legitimate business. We had to let her go because she was using heroin on the store property. So I sit down at the bar and she has one leg over each of my shoulders and I say, "You don't remember me, do you?" She replies with the stripper standard, "Of course I do sweetie." I said, "No ****, I used to be your boss at *****." She then offered me and all of my friends lapdances which I politely declined. The h-bomb really had a hold on her. Kind of sad.

There are other ones but don't really involve me so it's not my place to tell them.


Is this true or one of them stories?
post #9 of 129
I'm still a punk, remember? Why not just not read my posts or not reply to them if you have a problem with me? Keeps you from deciding if they're real or not.
post #10 of 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick9915 View Post
I'm still a punk, remember? Why not just not read my posts or not reply to them if you have a problem with me? Keeps you from deciding if they're real or not.


I do try.....but it's kinda lke fireworks.....even though you've seen them before it's hard not to want to look .......
post #11 of 129
My suggestion would be to try harder. It would work out the best for both of us.
post #12 of 129
Sounds like a round of rainbow cookies is needed here.
post #13 of 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by Patrick9915 View Post
My suggestion would be to try harder. It would work out the best for both of us.


Clarify please.....
post #14 of 129
Quote:
Originally Posted by Homerisadope View Post
Sounds like a round of rainbow cookies is needed here.


I can't put the speedo on now.....5 min till the bus comes and it's too cold outside for that.......
post #15 of 129
No clarification needed. There is a clique of people I don't get along with on here. I don't speak their names and for the most part, they don't speak mine. It works out pretty nicely.
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