Crozzbow

Friday the Thirteenth

29 posts in this topic

Today was beach day in that if I wanted to do any fishing today the beach was going to be my best option. My primary transport (Ford F-150) for my kayak is in the shop undergoing serious surgery. Both exhaust manifolds are being removed and replaced. My alternative kayak transport (Ford Escape) is fully controlled by my activity coordinator (wife).

 

When I first approached her about my dilemma she wasn’t very sympathetic and insisted she needed “her” vehicle for the whole day. After some tough negotiation I convinced her to allow me access to “her” vehicle for the first four hours of daylight. That and a promise to take her to a “swimming beach” on Sunday without any of my fishing tackle. Did I ever mention that she can be a tough negotiator when she wants to?

 

When I rolled out of bed at 3:30 am this morning she mumbled something to me about being extra careful as it was Friday the 13th. I never took much stock in the idea that Friday the 13th could be an unlucky day to be out and about. After what I went through this morning I’m not so sure anymore.

 

After a quick and wholesome breakfast of diet Pepsi and cherry pie I left the house as quietly as I could and headed to the escape. About three steps down the driveway I smelled something that I really didn’t want to smell. It only to a few seconds before I spotted the source. A black and white skunk with its tail fully erect heading for safety underneath the Escape. I could see that I was going nowhere fast, so I just went to the garage and waited until the skunk decided to move on. 

 

When it was finally safe, I managed to get five miles down the road before big rain drops started splattering on the windshield. Which in turn  reminded me that I forgot to load my rain-gear into the Escape last night. I initially contemplated just moving on without the rain-gear then I remembered the soaking that I got a week or so ago when I left my rain-gear in my vehicle. That was more than enough for me to turn  around and head back home to get the rain-gear. When I pulled into the driveway my dogs started barking. Knowing that the wife was still sleeping, and I would catch hell for causing the dogs to bark, I quickly dug the rain-gear out of the garage and hit the road as fast as I could.

 

I was approximately eight miles from the beach, and in the process of navigating a blind curve, when I came upon a doe deer and her spotted little one standing right in the middle of the road. Thank god the ABS breaks worked as advertised. When I came to a complete stop the doe deer gave me a dirty look they both wandered off into the woods. I just sat there trying to figure out how I was going to explain my dirty undies to the wife.

 

When I finally got to the beach and stepped out of the vehicle I was swarmed by hundreds of skeeters. At first I wasn’t overly worried as I always carry a bottle of skeeter repellant in my fly vest. Then I  remembered that I had moved that bottle of skeeter repellant to a pocket in my kayaking safety vest which was still home in the garage. I did a fast analysis of the problem and decided that I could survive more than four hours before the skeeters sucked me dry.

 

 From there I moved down to the water’s edge and started casting an olive and white clouser minnow into what I considered to be fishy water. Five minutes later I lost my balance, when I stepped in an unseen hole, and did a face plant into to water. I was somewhat lucky in that I fell into the shallow end of the pool and I had double bagged anything that could be damaged by saltwater into double zip closure sandwich bags. However, I do have to make a note to myself for future reference stating that rain-gear does not keep you dry when you do face plants into water.

 

After I recovered from that fiasco I started catching fish at a regular rate. I was reeling in striped bass number twelve when my cell phone rang. The wife was calling me to let me know there was no electrical power in the house and she hadn’t had her morning coffee yet. I just shook my head, reeled in the clouser, and headed for the parking lot wondering if I had enough money in my wallet to purchase a large cup of coffee at Duncan donuts. 

 

I know this all sounds somewhat unbelievable, but I’ll swear on a bible that every one of the incidents I described happened to me this morning, Good thing the fish were biting. Otherwise, I might have started taking Friday the 13th a little more seriously.

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I liked your post, Crozzbow. Thought it was funny and it reminded me of some not so fun experiaces I've had while fishing, They're not much fun at the time, but make for a good story later.

There's nothing like a good sense of humor.

In your other post, You asked if the post was appropriate in this forum, I would say yes for sure.

I enjoy reading this type of post. Nice change from the regular "I caught this on that" type of post,

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13 mins ago, Albatross said:

I enjoy reading this type of post. Nice change from the regular "I caught this on that" type of post

Albatross

That/s sort of what I'm thinking when I when submit this type of post. Thanks for the feed back.

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To quote the immortal Clark Griswold 

 

“Half the fun is getting there.”  And in most of our experiences 

 

making it back

 

great stuff

 

next time take the spotted mammal off the drivers side quarter panel at no less than 15 degrees, no more than 35

minimal body shop time

 

delicious on the smoker 

 

jim 

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Haha “activity coordinator”. A guy at work once explained to me that they don’t like u having fun without them. So then u bring them along, and its too buggy, its too early, its to hot. Can’t win I feel your pain!

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My "Activity Coordinator" is the "Minister of Sociality and Finance".

 

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3 hours ago, Roccus7 said:

My "Activity Coordinator" is the "Minister of Sociality and Finance".

 

4 hours ago, StriperSwiper357 said:

Can’t win I feel your pain!

My Activity Coordinator isn't half as bad as I make her out to be. Most of the conflict that I describe in my posting is nothing more than good natured bantering between us. Seeing as we have managed to put up with each other for the last forty five years I’m sure we’ll be able to put up with each other a few more. After all, somebody needs to take care of the dogs when I'm off on one of my week long fishing excursions.

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3 hours ago, Crozzbow said:

 

My Activity Coordinator isn't half as bad as I make her out to be. Most of the conflict that I describe in my posting is nothing more than good natured bantering between us. Seeing as we have managed to put up with each other for the last forty five years I’m sure we’ll be able to put up with each other a few more. After all, somebody needs to take care of the dogs when I'm off on one of my week long fishing excursions.

Thank you for this clarification and for thinking of the younger generations who read these posts !!! If we show RESPECT as men then there is HOPE for our fisheries !!! Hopefully your stories will show others to respect their marriages and to be REAL anglers of Maine. 

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Posted (edited)

21 hours ago, jimbighead said:

next time take the spotted mammal off the drivers side quarter panel at no less than 15 degrees, no more than 35

minimal body shop time

delicious on the smoker 

Hey Jim

You made an interesting observation in this posting that made me think through some of the potential implications I could be facing if I had followed the alternative path you described in your post instead of just hitting the brakes.

While my wife isn’t a rabid foam at the mouth protector of wildlife she does have a soft spot for cute baby animals like spotted fawns. If I had run over what she would have considered a very cute baby fawn, with her Escape, and made the mistake of bringing it home to eat, I have no doubt there would have been hell to pay. She would have dragged me into a purgatory so horrible that even PETEA would have never considered using it to punish me.

She would carve the letters B and S into my forehead and from then on, I would be forever known as the Bambie Slayer. No matter where I went with my wife she would make it a point to seek out perfect strangers who hadn’t heard my Friday the 13th story and fill them in on the sins that I committed on that fateful day.

When we had family gatherings, I would be banished to the children’s table while the rest of the family sat around the grownup table. There they tell their version of how I used my wife’s Escape to take the life off a harmless woodland creature just for a few mouthfuls of smoked venison.  The children would stick out their tongues and throw their vegetables at me. I would be the only one at the table to not get any desert and I love my cherry pie ala-mode.

When I finally passed, away all the eulogies at the wake would contain passages of what happened on the Fateful Friday the 13th day. My remains would be buried in Stephen King’s “Pet Cemetery’ where a pack of mangy coyotes would dig me up. My soulless remains would then hijack a 2013 vintage Escape which would be used to forever haunt the back roads of Maine in search of spotted deer fawns it run over.

While I fully appreciate the alternative recommendation that you provided, I find the implications of ever following that path to be untenable.  Therefore, I have no choice but to continue with my current path for addressing my venison cravings. I’ll talk my deer hunting buddies into bringing some of the spoils of their hunt to fishing camp for sharing with their fishing buddies

Edited by Crozzbow

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Not everyone has the ability to poke fun at their own experiences. Instead of being bitter you made the most of your situation (even though it must have been a rough day), and you gained a fantastic story from it. Down the road I hope to have plenty of these kinds of adventures to share!

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14 hours ago, Crozzbow said:

Hey Jim

You made an interesting observation in this posting that made me think through some of the potential implications I could be facing if I had followed the alternative path you described in your post instead of just hitting the brakes.

While my wife isn’t a rabid foam at the mouth protector of wildlife she does have a soft spot for cute baby animals like spotted fawns. If I had run over what she would have considered a very cute baby fawn, with her Escape, and made the mistake of bringing it home to eat, I have no doubt there would have been hell to pay. She would have dragged me into a purgatory so horrible that even PETEA would have never considered using it to punish me.

She would carve the letters B and S into my forehead and from then on, I would be forever known as the Bambie Slayer. No matter where I went with my wife she would make it a point to seek out perfect strangers who hadn’t heard my Friday the 13th story and fill them in on the sins that I committed on that fateful day.

When we had family gatherings, I would be banished to the children’s table while the rest of the family sat around the grownup table. There they tell their version of how I used my wife’s Escape to take the life off a harmless woodland creature just for a few mouthfuls of smoked venison.  The children would stick out their tongues and throw their vegetables at me. I would be the only one at the table to not get any desert and I love my cherry pie ala-mode.

When I finally passed, away all the eulogies at the wake would contain passages of what happened on the Fateful Friday the 13th day. My remains would be buried in Stephen King’s “Pet Cemetery’ where a pack of mangy coyotes would dig me up. My soulless remains would then hijack a 2013 vintage Escape which would be used to forever haunt the back roads of Maine in search of spotted deer fawns it run over.

While I fully appreciate the alternative recommendation that you provided, I find the implications of ever following that path to be untenable.  Therefore, I have no choice but to continue with my current path for addressing my venison cravings. I’ll talk my deer hunting buddies into bringing some of the spoils of their hunt to fishing camp for sharing with their fishing buddies

Such a great and THOUGHTFUL post !!! The future of the fisheries depends on us being thoughtful and RESPECTFUL !!! People who can’t consider the feelings or perspectives of their spouse are the type of people who deplete our fisheries. We must always remember the younger generations are depending on us. We can do this !!!

 

Keep the great posts coming. You have a gift for writing and you are a gift to our fisheries !!!

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Posted (edited)

28 mins ago, Mousam said:

Such a great and THOUGHTFUL post !!! The future of the fisheries depends on us being thoughtful and RESPECTFUL !!! People who can’t consider the feelings or perspectives of their spouse are the type of people who deplete our fisheries. We must always remember the younger generations are depending on us. We can do this !!!

Aww.....

Now that you have gone and embarrassed me I have no choice but to come clean and admit that the last post I addressed to Jim was just a cover up. I wrote it because my own soft spot for baby animals is almost one and a half times bigger than the size of my wife's soft spot for baby animals.:why:

Just don't tell her that.

Edited by Crozzbow

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3 mins ago, Crozzbow said:

Aww.....

Now that you have gone and embarrassed me I have no choice but to come clean and admit that the last post I addressed to Jim was just a cover up. I wrote it because my own soft spot for baby animals is almost one and a half times bigger than the size of my wife's soft spot for baby animals.:why:

Just don't tell her that.

Your secret is safe here !!! I saw a seal on shore yesterday and someone on FACEBOOK suggested I shoot it. I blamed calling the animal welfare folks on my son but I also have a soft spot !!!

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23 hours ago, Mousam said:

Thank you for this clarification and for thinking of the younger generations who read these posts !!! If we show RESPECT as men then there is HOPE for our fisheries !!! Hopefully your stories will show others to respect their marriages and to be REAL anglers of Maine. 

Mousam

This is a serious question and in no way any kind of slam on what you wrote. It is just that sometimes I'm real slow on the pick-up and need a little help putting things together.

Could you explain to me how respecting our wives and marriages directly affects our fisheries in a positive manner ?

PM me if you don't want to address this question in an open forum.

 

BTW: Thanks for all your positive feedback on my enhanced postings.

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