It was July of ‘09 and I had gone into town for boat provisions. Now rural upstate NY is not a breeding ground for hot women, but Watkins Glen in the summer can be.
I’m in the produce aisle and look over and see a girl standing with her back to me and she’s got that ass. EXACTYLY like the one pictured above-yoga pants and all and this was well before the whole yoga pants craze.
Long, dark hair, big sunglasses and holding a foot long cucumber in both hands.
She looked over then down at the cucumber and laughed. I had an opportunity and took it by making a lewd crack.
Now I figured I’d either get rebuffed or punched, but she took off the glasses, hooked them into some amazing cleavage and told me that it probably wouldn’t fit.
We had lunch in the market cafe. She was 32 or so. I was 48. She was in the marines for a while and had been a stripper at an infamous club up here and I knew she was trouble. Fun, but trouble.
Within an hour we were defiling every room in my house and did so daily for a week.
Then the trouble started. There’s no describing her hot headedness and tendency to fight and argue, but the mesmerizing ass and porn quality acrobatics made it seem like a small price.
We were together for 4 years before I started to get whiffs of some things in her past that we’re making me nervous.
She had a rather extensive criminal history and many warrants for her arrest. Check fraud, drugs, even a felony gun charge.
Despite the daily Jenna Jamison sex and that ass, she had to go. The trouble was she had moved in and wouldn’t leave.
Now the trouble really started.
Its my house, she’s violent, I’m sleeping with one eye open behind a locked door and have retained a lawyer to get her evicted. The sheriffs had been there so many times I was on a first name basis with all of them.
I come home from work one day and she’s not home (whew!), so I jump on the lawn mower and don’t get 2 laps around the yard when a see a patrol car pull in.
I walk all over and say “hey Brad, what’s up? I didn’t call you.”
He points toward the house where she’s coming out the kitchen door and tells me that she did. Apparently while I was mowing I was also beating her up, threatening to kill her and repeatedly taking her cell phone away from her while she was calling 911 and there were tapes to prove it.
He and every cop for 20 miles knew what was going on here but he had to arrest me since she filed a formal, written complaint.
Despite her warrants and history the district attorney prosecuted me undoubtedly because he got a look at that ass and probably more.
My small town eviction lawyer is now my defense attorney. I refuse numerous plea deals and after many adjournments was facing trial in a small town court where literally every man accused of beating a woman is guilty.
I was facing 1 - 3 in county jail.
Enough time had elapsed...7 months actually that the DA was voted out of office. The new guy reviewed my case in preparation of trial, couldn’t believe what he was seeing, realized that if she - his only witness came near a court house, she’d testify in hand cuffs and be locked up along with me and dropped the charges.
Despite all of that it was well worth it.
Early on in the relationship, she handed me a small Victoria’s Secret bag (she had an extensive lingerie collection at my house) and told me to put whatever I wanted her to wear when she arrived in that bag and hang it on the door knob.
Sometimes it was a pair of sunglasses and a pair of platform shoes. Sometimes just a g string and lipstick. My choice.
She’d occasionally bring a friend.
It was definitely worth it.